Tuesday, June 30, 2009
I talk to cats!
S just about drove me crazy the other night as she was bored in her taxi and decided to call me. She went on to talk about how she can talk to cats for about 30 minutes. Wow. Sad to say, this relationship is slowing down. Not really ready to tolerate conversations like that.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Bangkok #5
I just landed in Bangkok last night. I'm up super early checking stocks. I've been reading about the Iran riots and the killing of Neda Soltan. I watched the video and it made me cry. To watch a person die right before my eyes, and know the reasons behind it. I've seen dead bodies before in Russia, but this had a completely different effect. The Iranian government stated that it is forbidden to mourn this woman or suffer grave consequences! What kind of government is that?! I hope people in our nation (America) stop with the oil conspiracy crap and Bush's agenda, and start recognizing people like Nancy Pelosi as kwacks and realize that though America makes mistakes, in our past dealings with countries, we have the ability to help others better their situation, and if we've meddled in the past to try and fix our wrongs. Sure, we meddled in Iran's past especially after WW2, but it isn't just about the US and what we want, it's about helping the humanitarian situation abroad. Germany and Italy never attacked us, but we fought because we knew what was right. Just imagine if Germany or Japan had won WW2?! Now Iran's government openly denies the holocaust... well, they have for years, and now look what they do to their protesters. The articles I've read on the oppression of those protesting is horrid. Could you imagine if people had been shot for protesting Bush's win over Gore or Kerry? It's pretty obvious to me that the vote was rigged in Iran, but even if it wasn't, I think those who were on the tipping point in their vote are realizing they shouldn't have kept the regime in by the way things are being handled now. And if the vote wasn't "rigged" undoubtedly there were many people in fear of voting against the regime, as you must put your name on the ballot for it to be valid. It's not anonymous voting, so voting for the "wrong" party could come back to bite you. Even if it's something as simple as wanting a decent job in the future, let alone loss of rights and death. I think the US has every right to step in. I think the whole world community is thinking it, but everyone looks at us because we are the ones with the most power. That's what they thought with Afghanistan and Iraq.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Famished..
I think it's funny when people start talking about what they ate that day, and when people try to out do each other with how little they ate. I only ate a bagel all day! Oh, I only ate half a carrot! I had one Cheerio!
Monday, June 15, 2009
They're all married.
Caleb is Married.
Chad is Married.
Jordan is Married.
Justin is Married.
Kevin is Married.
Ned..was Married.
Adam is Married.
G is Married.
Christina is Engaged.
Hailey is almost Engaged.
All my X's are Married.
Johnny is about to get engaged.
I've been single since March '06.
I'm getting on a plane to Thailand to work my butt off after a really lonely month in Utah.
I'm not sad, not down, just, not sure what to feel.
I really, never like anyone. It's really really rare. A few times a year, maybe 2-3 times. And for some reason the second I realize I like them... they're over it.
Seriously, I'll have some girl chasing me, really crazy for me, and I'll be cautious and make sure we're still having fun, and trying to build our foundation. And right when I decide I really am into just her... it's over.
For example. Last month I met this girl Virginia. My friends Christina, Ross and Hailey said I might be a good match for her. She's really fun and outgoing, just turned 30, 6' tall and quite the looker. I called her up and she wanted to hang out. She would text me every day to go to the gym, and then to dinner then this and that. She was initiating everything. A week into it we went out on a Friday night. We walked through a park in Sugar House walked and talked. We broke into a Ferris wheel and sat there talking about the whole shebang. She really opened up to me. She kept staring at my lips and when I asked her about it she said that's what she does when she wants to kiss someone. I wasn't quite ready for that, but walking back to the car we had our arms around each other being really flirty. When I dropped her off that night she told me she was really having fun, and that she had no plans for the weekend, so if I want to do something call her up.
That night I went home and realized, I think I actually like her. I should give it a shot with her. I woke up Saturday morning and texted her to ask what she was up to. No answer. Next day I text her to see how she is. No answer. That night I call her just to make sure her phone was working...cuz ya know I don't want to be overbearing, but maaaaybe they didn't go through. (A few days before I had called her and her phone never registered it.) She didn't pick up so I left a message that said, "Ouch, your phone IS working." I haven't heard from her since I dropped her off at her door.
I didn't do anything, I didn't change anything. I went to sleep that night thinking, "I think I really like her". That's what ended it. And it's not the first time. So it's just... easier to not feel that way. I never want to feel the way I did spring '06, or Jan '07 ever ever ever again. Depressed because feels like a black hole of pain. Having someone not love you because they don't think you're good enough, or giving enough or really in love with them, when you'd give anything if only they wanted it; you ARE giving everything, and they aren't even recognizing it.
So, Johnny's getting married this year. I have no more best friends. Just, married friends.
My mom is worse than ever. She delusional-ly thinks that her house will magically clean itself, and or my sister will help/do her part in cleaning. Her landlord is walking through her house this week, and I'm afraid he's going to evict her. I spent $150 on 22 storage containers and filled half of them up making a lot of space in her house. She filled 3 up, and then proceeded to bury them so that you can't even tell they are there. I tried to get her jump started, but who knows what will happen.
Shelley is married. I went to her little wedding in Elko Nevada at the end of April. Her husband Greg has live in Grand daughters, so... I don't really have a place to stay in Boise anymore. I've been here a week, and I sleep on Johnny's couch in Meridian, and he's never even here. So a lonely month in Utah followed by a lonely week in Boise.
While I was living in Hong Kong, I had so many people keep in touch on facebook, and they told me they couldn't wait until I was home. I've been in USA 2 months now... and I've seen hardly anyone. Christina is engaged, so... as much as I missed her, she wasn't really even there anymore. And lots of girls that were like oh Jake, come home come home now! They're all totally MIA. Hum.
To top it off...one morning mid May.. about a month ago, I was running in my neighborhood (Well Craig's neighborhood, the guy I was staying with in Utah for the month of May) and out from this house comes a very tall pregnant lady walking to her car. I totally did a triple take as I realized it was Tinkerpan. I don't remember what I did, if I stopped running, or slowed down or sped up. I don't know if my heart stopped, raced, or ... I remember more about where the sun was just coming up over the mountains and the green in the trees... such a beautiful crisp morning...I just have amnesia about the whole thing, but moments later I was jogging and she drove by in a black car. She never saw me. I actually wasn't entirely sure it was her until I ran it through my mind to make certain. I mean... Her face looked like her... but this lady was PREGNANT! and I only knew she got married recently. No idea she was with child. Needless to say I couldn't believe I was staying just around the corner from where she lived and I spend the next 3 weeks avidly avoiding going anywhere near that direction.
One more year traveling the world, coming right up in less than 48 hours.
Chad is Married.
Jordan is Married.
Justin is Married.
Kevin is Married.
Ned..was Married.
Adam is Married.
G is Married.
Christina is Engaged.
Hailey is almost Engaged.
All my X's are Married.
Johnny is about to get engaged.
I've been single since March '06.
I'm getting on a plane to Thailand to work my butt off after a really lonely month in Utah.
I'm not sad, not down, just, not sure what to feel.
I really, never like anyone. It's really really rare. A few times a year, maybe 2-3 times. And for some reason the second I realize I like them... they're over it.
Seriously, I'll have some girl chasing me, really crazy for me, and I'll be cautious and make sure we're still having fun, and trying to build our foundation. And right when I decide I really am into just her... it's over.
For example. Last month I met this girl Virginia. My friends Christina, Ross and Hailey said I might be a good match for her. She's really fun and outgoing, just turned 30, 6' tall and quite the looker. I called her up and she wanted to hang out. She would text me every day to go to the gym, and then to dinner then this and that. She was initiating everything. A week into it we went out on a Friday night. We walked through a park in Sugar House walked and talked. We broke into a Ferris wheel and sat there talking about the whole shebang. She really opened up to me. She kept staring at my lips and when I asked her about it she said that's what she does when she wants to kiss someone. I wasn't quite ready for that, but walking back to the car we had our arms around each other being really flirty. When I dropped her off that night she told me she was really having fun, and that she had no plans for the weekend, so if I want to do something call her up.
That night I went home and realized, I think I actually like her. I should give it a shot with her. I woke up Saturday morning and texted her to ask what she was up to. No answer. Next day I text her to see how she is. No answer. That night I call her just to make sure her phone was working...cuz ya know I don't want to be overbearing, but maaaaybe they didn't go through. (A few days before I had called her and her phone never registered it.) She didn't pick up so I left a message that said, "Ouch, your phone IS working." I haven't heard from her since I dropped her off at her door.
I didn't do anything, I didn't change anything. I went to sleep that night thinking, "I think I really like her". That's what ended it. And it's not the first time. So it's just... easier to not feel that way. I never want to feel the way I did spring '06, or Jan '07 ever ever ever again. Depressed because feels like a black hole of pain. Having someone not love you because they don't think you're good enough, or giving enough or really in love with them, when you'd give anything if only they wanted it; you ARE giving everything, and they aren't even recognizing it.
So, Johnny's getting married this year. I have no more best friends. Just, married friends.
My mom is worse than ever. She delusional-ly thinks that her house will magically clean itself, and or my sister will help/do her part in cleaning. Her landlord is walking through her house this week, and I'm afraid he's going to evict her. I spent $150 on 22 storage containers and filled half of them up making a lot of space in her house. She filled 3 up, and then proceeded to bury them so that you can't even tell they are there. I tried to get her jump started, but who knows what will happen.
Shelley is married. I went to her little wedding in Elko Nevada at the end of April. Her husband Greg has live in Grand daughters, so... I don't really have a place to stay in Boise anymore. I've been here a week, and I sleep on Johnny's couch in Meridian, and he's never even here. So a lonely month in Utah followed by a lonely week in Boise.
While I was living in Hong Kong, I had so many people keep in touch on facebook, and they told me they couldn't wait until I was home. I've been in USA 2 months now... and I've seen hardly anyone. Christina is engaged, so... as much as I missed her, she wasn't really even there anymore. And lots of girls that were like oh Jake, come home come home now! They're all totally MIA. Hum.
To top it off...one morning mid May.. about a month ago, I was running in my neighborhood (Well Craig's neighborhood, the guy I was staying with in Utah for the month of May) and out from this house comes a very tall pregnant lady walking to her car. I totally did a triple take as I realized it was Tinkerpan. I don't remember what I did, if I stopped running, or slowed down or sped up. I don't know if my heart stopped, raced, or ... I remember more about where the sun was just coming up over the mountains and the green in the trees... such a beautiful crisp morning...I just have amnesia about the whole thing, but moments later I was jogging and she drove by in a black car. She never saw me. I actually wasn't entirely sure it was her until I ran it through my mind to make certain. I mean... Her face looked like her... but this lady was PREGNANT! and I only knew she got married recently. No idea she was with child. Needless to say I couldn't believe I was staying just around the corner from where she lived and I spend the next 3 weeks avidly avoiding going anywhere near that direction.
One more year traveling the world, coming right up in less than 48 hours.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Lost Mission Memories
Since my Missionary Journals were lost to the storage place...
I was just thinking about how lonely it was to knock doors in Va-i with Elder Scott Raymond. Dirty. Decrepit. Rude, poor filthy people. Maybe it's time I go back. And take pictures of all these places. Hot. We worked so so so hard and never gave up. Ha ha, one day out there Elder Raymond was jumping over a puddle and slipped and completely fell in to a puddle of mud.
Once tracting with Elder Piper the rain came down in a flash flood and we had to hide in a podezhd. My mission was amazing. The feelings I had then compare to nothing else that can be imagined. Only my longing for Tinkerpan while I was in Egypt can come close to comparing.
Duhovka is not... Duhonvna. мы с моим другом представители церкви Иисуса Христа святых последних дней. Wow those were the days.
I was just thinking about how lonely it was to knock doors in Va-i with Elder Scott Raymond. Dirty. Decrepit. Rude, poor filthy people. Maybe it's time I go back. And take pictures of all these places. Hot. We worked so so so hard and never gave up. Ha ha, one day out there Elder Raymond was jumping over a puddle and slipped and completely fell in to a puddle of mud.
Once tracting with Elder Piper the rain came down in a flash flood and we had to hide in a podezhd. My mission was amazing. The feelings I had then compare to nothing else that can be imagined. Only my longing for Tinkerpan while I was in Egypt can come close to comparing.
Duhovka is not... Duhonvna. мы с моим другом представители церкви Иисуса Христа святых последних дней. Wow those were the days.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Tinkerpan's Russia emails.
Found emails from Tinkerpan from 4 years ago. And I still hurt. Still can't open up and feel like I did about anyone else. I used up all my love on her.
Friday, June 12, 2009
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