How do you overcome sorrow. The kind of sorrow that leads you to believe all you have done is in vain. All the struggles, heartaches, and hopes, the belief in that amazing shared happiness.
I have wasted my summer, my life, and myself on an empty dream. I let myself feel so deeply, trust for what I thought would be the last time, believe my heart was in safe hands and that it was honest and real this time.
I have been wasted.
How can someone make you believe that they love you with all their heart and soul, connect with you from words of a precious book, and speak peace to your heart, express the deepest warmth and desire, trust and love, express a yearning for you that makes their soul tremble with excitement at the thought of again being in your arms and then turn on a dime, without any input from the person they claimed to cherish, when the world tells them that this kind of love isn't real, they leave you with nothing.
I was asked to believe, and to show that I did by erasing any prospects for a different life with a different person. I spent the last month of my life preparing for what she wanted with all her heart, and what I in turn did too.
My only friends are now 24hour fitness, a 5 mile stretch of road between where I live and center street in Orem, the books I read while the friends I left are out flirting the nights away and my ipod which blares U2 and Gladiator on my twilight runs.
I have opened my heart as far as it can open, and that's really far, and I have put it on the line time after time. There is nothing left of me.
I am wasted.
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